and so it begins

It's been a week since I picked up my motorcycle and I've gone through quite a whirlwind of emotions and events.

I've now surpassed the miles my dad put on the bike on the way home, meaning most of the miles are now all mine!

I'm slowly but surely mastering shifting (up is great, down is so-so), braking, hazard avoidance, and having fun! The last part has been the hardest — the more I ride the more frustrated I was becoming with my skills and flub-ups. I went on a ride earlier, however, with what I would consider no real mishaps and enjoyed myself immensely. It's all in learning to pace myself and appreciate the scenery (while still looking a few seconds and several seconds ahead, duh).

Today was my first opportunity to avoid a crash. I've done the same ride now four times and each time I've been incredibly careful throughout the whole ride but one intersection has garnered more of my attention than any other because it's fairly uncontrolled with limited visibility and a lot of idiots. Today I saw someone waiting to turn left, in front of me, and while I didn't have to stop I slowed way down because something told me this person was going to pull right out in front of me — and she did just that! I flipped her off in a fit of rage (sorry grandma!) as she waved at me apologizing profusely. I honestly was more excited I had judged the situation correctly than mad at her making that mistake. It encourages me to know that I'm learning from my experiences what to watch for and making judgement calls accordingly.

Now for some fun stuff. As those who know me will understand buying and sorting out my gear has been one of my favorite parts of becoming a real rider. While I already had the basics from scootering/the motorcycle safety course I have now collected a great set of gear with some surprising items that have made an immediate and immense difference in my riding.

1. My helmet. I've been using an hand-me-down black Arai helmet for the last... who knows how long. It was becoming loose which is not something a helmet should be and my dad was kind enough to give me another extra helmet from their collection. Being that I am a lunatic I bought reflective tape and put my own personal touch on it. Wu Tang Clan comin' atcha.

2. This was huge for me, getting my bike in front of my car and near a latticed parking area to avoid being doored. I don't want to be doored. To say that safety off my bike is as big a concern as when I'm riding it would be about fair. I don't live in the best area and with college students/their drunk friends plowing in and out of our parking lot at break-neck speeds I wanted to ensure my bike is in a fairly protected area where it's difficult to hit. Right now the only people who could possibly hit it are me (hah!) and if someone parks on the left. I purchased a middle-of-the-road u-lock at REI that I'm using a frame/disc lock. I also made myself a lock-out tag that says "DON'T FORGET YA LOCK" on a magnet so I don't, ya know, roll forward and break everything.  I also, of course, have a cover.

 







3. Would it shock you to know they don't make affordable, attractive women's motorcycle gear? Because they don't really. I mean sure if you can afford a Dainese jacket at $500 you can get something sleek and saucy (ahem, Christmas anyone?), but if you're on a budget you're kind of out of luck.

I went with a very reasonably priced leather jacket with some vents. It doesn't have armor, something I will eventually want, but for $170 and without it fitting like I was a linebacker I was thrilled. I also bought myself a turtle fur neck warmer thing, which while hideous does the trick and keeps my chicken neck from getting hives. I also bought myself a 3-pack of earplugs on STRINGS because I lose things, and am forgetful (see: aforementioned lock-out tag). They have already made a great difference in that I don't go deaf from wind or think I hear music all the time because that's kind of creepy and distracting when you know there isn't music playing.

4. The actually most helpful thing has been this Platypus water thing. I can successfully drink while my helmet is on (which looks ridiculous but I do not care) and it's kind of fun so I am more excited about hydrating. It also looks like some sort of IV bag when I lug it around while I'm taking a break. The biggest lesson from my first longer ride (hahaha 20 miles long ride hahah) was I didn't actually put the kickstand down and walk around for a minute in the middle of it so by the end I had crab-claws for hands and was really jumpy. Gotta relax! Gotta enjoy the nice Bellingham summer weather man.

5. The last thing is books my dad sent me about sport riding technique and smooooth riding. Both things I'm trying to work on quite a bit. He even put helpful stickie notes all over them including instructions to wait a week before attempting a stopie — THANKS SO MUCH DAD!





Overall buying gear and figuring out what I need has been a wondrous adventure. I enjoy suiting up and preparing for my ride, filling my weird bladder with water and packing myself a snack and hitting the trail, err road.

I would like to mention, as a fairly small (5'3" size 6ish) female rider it's been hard to find gear that isn't: a) overall too huge, b) clearly cut for a man but smaller, c) uggggly. Granted I've only been in three shops looking for gear and each of them wasn't super large. I understand some shops will have more options than others but in general it has sucked to be faced with choices of white and hot pink everything or too short/too long sleeves and too wide shoulders. If anyone has interest in starting a female-focused gear company with affordable, well-fitting, appropriate stuff you let me know. I would be all over it. #Idon'tlikepink

biker babe: how I learned to ride & purchased a motorcycle in 35 days

To say this was a momentous weekend for me would be an incredible understatement. Even now, as I'm home relaxing and watching Rooney Mara rock it on her motorcycle in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, I'm choking back tears because I DID IT.

This weekend my dad rode over from Spokane and helped me pick up the motorcycle I bought on Thursday night from Everett. Today we went tooling around a high school parking lot to get my "sea legs" under me and then on a quick ride down to Lake Samish and back.

I wrote all about how I learned to ride through a 3 day motorcycle safety course on a separate blog entry here. I began with a Kickstarter course the end of June and took my 3-day course the beginning of July. Meaning it's only been 35 day since I first used a clutch.

Last weekend I bartended a wedding for a dear friend down in Skagit county and on my way down on Chuckanut drive I decided to quit being wishy-washy and find myself a bike. I quickly settled on a few options: a Honda CBR250, CBR500, and my favorite, the CB500F. My dad (and mom) tried to convince me to find a smaller, older, cheaper bike to start with and upgrade in a year or two once I was more comfortable with everything that goes along with a motorcycle instead of a scooter. Being the obnoxious independent child that I am I decided that I would throw caution to the wind and buy myself a brand new bike.

And I know what you're thinking, Emily, you will drop this on the ground and it will lose value and you will be mad, etc. etc. — you're probably correct, but for now, this is the only thing in the world I really want.

Last Wednesday I traveled from Bellingham to Marysville to try and sit on all three models of bikes (since they're such different styles and sizes the differences were very noticeable). I struck out at my first shop for sitting on the CBR250 and decided to continue south on the I-5 corridor and try my luck in Everett. They too had just sold their last CBR250 so I couldn't sit on it there either. Before you write me off as a total idiot because hey, I went to two bike shops without verifying their online in-stock models were actually in the store, I did call the last shop before driving to Woodinville.

The third try was indeed the charm and at the last shop I found a nice salesman to show me all three bikes. Immediately sitting on the 250 felt too small and that I would quickly outgrow it. I then sat on the CB and CRB500 models and began an internal debate of what kind of riding style I would be most comfortable with. The CB500F has a straight handlebar which allows for more "straight" riding style, while the CBR500 has handlebars that are more street bike style and force you to hunch over to hold them.

I decided that for my riding, and my style, the CB500F was the way to go. I called my dad and we began plotting insurance, maintenance schedules, dealership fees, etc.

Thursday I called four motorcycle dealerships along the I-5 corridor who listed CB500Fs on their websites to find the best pricing and nicest salesperson.

My first call, to Everett Powersports, turned out to be the right one. I was paired with a great salesperson who immediately gave me a quote and promised to match anything else if someone underbid him. After gathering the other quotes, which were much higher (how is the same bike priced over $800 differently from one shop to another in the same area I do not know) and with much pushier salesmen I called him back and began the process of reserving my bike and teeing up my financing options for my arrival after work Thursday night.

I also had to settle between State Farm, Safeco, and Progressive insurance. I went with Progressive, as their rates closely matched State Farm and the agent I worked with (if you're in B'ham and want her name and number she is amazing) was awesome. Because of my age (under 25) and because this is a fairly large, new, speedy motorcycle my rates are substantial but they will decrease once I turn 25 and gain some standing with Progressive.

The process of making all the calls, haggling over the phone and asking my poor dad about 25925 questions all paid off when I arrived in Everett Thursday night and saw this beauty.

My bike, whom I have named Trixie, is incredible. Being the aesthetic snob that I am I knew if I went with an older, uglier bike I would be displeased and that would translate to all sorts of not-so-great things. This sleek, black, modern bike is just what I need to get going as a real biker.

My dad rode partway to B'ham Friday night and the rest of the way Saturday morning to drive down with me and pick up the bike. After mulling over choices of: 1) me riding it (hah), 2) borrowing/renting a truck to pick it up in (ugh), and 3) someone else riding it I went with option #3 so long as it was my dad doing the riding. We drove down to Everett in my car and as we approached the exit it began to rain so hard it felt and looked like hail, to which I said, ahhh hail nah. Pulling up to the dealership it was POURING and was making me very anxious and my dad angry he left his rain gear in my 80º apartment.

We poked around the shop for a bit, I found a leather jacket (finnnnally) and we picked up oil to do the first oil change (done quickly after purchase to remove metal particulates from circling around gumming up things) and then it was time for the big trip. The rain cleared as we were preparing to head out and we made it back to Bellingham without incident and without me having a heart attack watching my dad follow me on the bike.

Today I rode around a high school parking lot for a bit, herking and jerking as I got a feel for the clutch and throttle. The weight was new and different but I didn't feel out of control at any point. We came back to my apartment for a breather and I decided I wanted to ride a bit more in a controlled environment and then perhaps go on a quick ride.

Getting out of my parking lot proved to be the biggest challenge of the day, I hadn't taken off from a stop on an upward slope before and managing the clutch, throttle, and front brake (to keep from rolling backwards) simultaneously caused me much difficulty.

We successfully got up to the high school and I quickly decided a longer ride might shake out some of my jitters about being out on the open road. I chose a jaunt down to Lake Samish and that went without a hitch, errr any hitches I feel like mentioning.

The feeling of riding on the open road, on a brand new bike that I navigated the purchase of almost completely on my own, was one of the most amazing feelings of my life. I hope I never forget what it was like to take the first ride.

I am so grateful my dad was able to come over and help me through this new beginning of my journey. Having someone to high five when we got to a good stopping point by the lake was priceless. Thanks dad!

So what's next? Now I try to figure out how the heck to 1) park it in my crappy parking lot, 2) secure it so 4 burly dudes don't come pick it up and take it, 3) start riding on an uphill slope! After that the world is my riding oyster!

summer films

I try to track the films I'm seeing on a Google Doc so I can brag about how many I see in a given year. This year I'm up to 19 films seen in theaters, which is right on track for my goal of seeing 50 movies this year (I tend to see more films in the winter months).

A few films I've seen recently were very noteworthy.

The first was Obvious Child, which I saw on the same night that the Burwell v. Hobby Lobby decision was rendered.

from here

The story is about a young woman named Donna (played by the amazing Jenny Slate of Bob's Burgers glory) who has a one-night stand and gets pregnant. She decides to have an abortion and the film actually shows her going through the procedure.

It felt monumental to see it the same night the Supreme Court limited the rights of women to make medical decisions with their doctors relating to their health and well being. I'm glad someone is out there, making films about abortions and life as a girl in your twenties and all the crap that goes along with it. I'm glad a funny, touching, cute, moving film can cover such a range of topics tactfully and truthfully in a time when it feels like to be a woman and consider making choices about your reproductive health is somehow controversial and everyone's political business. You go Jenny Slate!


The other film of great note was Ida.

photo from here

Entirely moving, and monumental for completely different reasons, Ida is a subtle, haunting, incredible story of a young woman about to take her vows as a nun when she visits her only living relative and discovers she is a Jew who barely escaped death in WWII Poland. Her aunt, played by the amazing Agata Kulesza, is one of the most incredible characters I've ever seen in a film — she is a force.

While bleak at many times, Ida was also bright and at a quick 80 minutes it felt like not a moment was wasted telling the story of Ida and her aunt.

The woman who played Ida, Agata Trzebuchowska, has the most incredible face that was only amplified in black and white. Everything about this film was mesmerizing and reminds me of why I love film so deeply.

♢

Journey to Badass: Motorcycles, Hospice, and Doula School

Since I was a fairly small child I've been rather risk-averse. Whenever I was introduced to a new activity I weighed the benefits of partaking against the risks of injury and death. I don't play contact sports, mostly because I'd hate them, but partially because I'd worry about breaking my teeth. I would love to do roller derby, for instance, but again, my teeth.

As I enter what I would consider my "mid" twenties, I am settling into a pretty regular pattern of life — I work, I go home, I watch some movies or TV, I go to sleep, I get up, I go to work, to ∞. This last weekend I changed that pattern, hopefully forever, and I'm aiming to change it even more in the coming months.

Over the weekend I took part in a 3 day motorcycle training course and received my motorcycle endorsement. My family, mostly my dad, has encouraged me to ride since I was younger and 4 years ago I began riding a scooter in preparation to one day take on bigger and better two-wheeled things.

The course was hard, much harder than I anticipated, though I didn't really know what to expect. I set myself up to make it much harder by choosing a training school an hour from my house. My schedule last Saturday and Sunday consisted of: get up at 5:00am, leave house at 5:45am, arrive at school 7:00am, ride motorcycles all day, depart for home, go to sleep at 12:00am due to nervousness, get up at 5:00am, drive drive drive ride ride ride.

There were 10 students in the class including myself and while at first I was a bit frightened by all their chain-smoking, Def Leppard blasting from their cars, and experience riding they all turned out to be lovely people. Our instructors were a British transplant who gave all the right/left directions backwards and some sort of Harley-riding cowboy type.

Class focused a lot more on surviving potential hazards than I would have thought. Little time was spent learning about shifting and cruising and more about swerving, sudden braking, and not falling over. I appreciated learning all those things, as I know first hand how important they will be, but I'm a little nervous to go out on the open road when I've never been out of 2nd gear.

The written test was a breeze, the riding test not so much. First of all, on day two of riding, three of the class, I made a big effort to eat and drink much more than I had the previous day. I had gotten really overwhelmed and anxious and thought part of that was due to dehydration and low blood sugar. I guzzled coffee and water on the way down and once the class got going we didn't really stop. As you can imagine drinking 12oz of coffee, about a quart each of water and Gatorade did not sit well when I literally had to sit on a bike for 3 hours without a break. When it came time to take the test half my intention was on not falling over while the other half of my brain focused on not peeing on myself.

The test itself focused, again, more on hazard avoidance than on actually cruising around. We did a quick stop, we swerved around an obstacle at decent speeds, we wove through cones, we executed a u-turn and some other more sweeping turns at higher speeds. I completed each task and then re-entered the long line of bikes waiting to test. I was about 4th in line which was great to see a few people before me and meant I spent a ton of time watching other people finish a task I'd already completed. I tried not to watch too closely to some of the exercises, such as the u-turn, because watching other people totally biff it really didn't boost my confidence.

When we were all finished with each of the tasks we gathered as a group while our instructor finished up our scores. He first let 3/10 students know they had failed and would have to retest. When he started to address the rest of the group I had an inkling we had all passed but when he said the faithful words, that we were finished and were now endorsed to ride motorcycles I jumped with joy, literally. And then I went and peed.

So much of my time is spent working, sleeping, and worrying about what I'll do next I think this journey, to uncharted waters of motorcycles and trips and adventures and potential hazards is going to be incredible. I'm already on the hunt for my first bike, my second bike, my cool bike, I'm already thinking of how cool it would be to tour through Europe with my dad, or ride down the Pacific Coast Highway to California, or or or so many other things! This is one tool I can use to gain some more badassery back into my life.

In other news, I will very shortly be registering for Doula training in the fall, and next week I have my interview to become a hospice volunteer. With each new activity, new training, new adventure comes a lot of nerves and a lot of risk weighing but in the end I know these are things that will change my life for the better and help me become the person I know I can be.

pen pals

I've always loved writing letters, from the actual act of writing to picking out new stationary and pens to developing relationships in one of the oldest ways.

When I was a junior in college I was paired with a pen pal who was going to school in Minnesota. We've been writing letters back and forth ever since (4 years and a collective 6 changes of address now) and it's proved to be a really amazing way to get to know someone else my age.

I've used the internet for the majority of my life and developed many of my relationships, or at least got to know people mainly through Myspace, Facebook, AIM back in the day and texting. In order to build our relationship through the mail we had to establish boundaries and guidelines for how we'd interact with each other. It's one thing to ping back and forth thousands of times in the beginnings of a new friendship or relationship without much regard for offending or having to back-track because within seconds of sending a message another containing "JK" or "So sorry!" or whatever can be sent, reversing what has been done.

With letters, if you offend someone you're kind of doomed. If you say something or mention something in your life that your pen pal doesn't agree with you might end that relationship for good. Whenever there was a longer than average gap in our correspondence I always wondered if I had said something that annoyed or weirded out my pen pal. But each time she responded with "oh my gosh that happened to me!" or "no worries!" and I liked her more and more. Now nothing is off limits in our lives. We're both highly open people and our lives have intertwined so much over the last 4 years it's been amazing.

Our pen palship has encouraged me to reach out in this way to many of my friends, friends from college, friends from home, my grandparents, etc. It's a fun way to communicate with people instead of simply "liking" their posts on Facebook or texting them once in a while.

Now that I'm trying to launch some sort of side-business as a calligrapher it made sense to try and gain some more practice with one of the most common tasks of a calligrapher — addresses. A few weeks ago I sent over 20 letters, some of them pictured below, to all manner of people to gain some new skills and also send some love to people I care about. It was great, although tiring, and it felt good to send so much mail at once.

Here's to more mail, and supporting the USPS!

♢♢♢

on traveling alone

I don't have very many friends. Or rather, I have a great many friends but not many I can call up and say "hey, want to go to Detroit with me?", which is something I've been thinking about a lot lately.

I've written about my wanderlust before and it's striking again, with a greater vengeance than perhaps ever before. I want to go far, have incredible, life-changing adventures and generally make my day-to-day ho-hum life more bearable.

But! Big but! Do I dare have these adventures by myself?

If I travel alone will I be safe? Will I have the same adventures? Will I be willing to do the same things and go the same places if I'm not with another person?

As I continue into adulthood (just turned 24! Woo!) as a mostly single person I have to decide how to navigate the world as one. Right now it seems fairly daunting to consider buying tickets, planning and executing a trip by myself but I have to get over it, I guess.

So for now I have developed a short list of trips I'd like to take in the near future, hopefully one of these can happen soon:

• Austin
• Detroit
• San Francsico
• Denver
• LA
• NYC
• Chicago
• Berlin

Soon my friends, soon.

so, is orange the new black?

Last weekend I binge watched Orange is the New Black along with all the 22 - 35 year old women I know.

We tweeted, we texted, we Facebook posted without revealing too much stuff.

photo here

Why is this show so great? I mean, I watch a ton of TV, I have multiple multiple shows going at once yet I dropped everything to watch the new season and ended up finishing the 13 episodes by Monday at lunch.

1. Women? In prison? A women's prison? Yeah, you had me at prison. For as long as I can remember I've been fascinated with prison — what was it like? Why were people there? What did people do all day? I used to be obsessed with the show Lockup on MSNBC, spending an entire New Year's Day one year watching it with my hungover roommates. At an all women's prison in the south somewhere the women were shackled to desks and phones and ran the state's tourism bureau and I remember thinking — wait wut. They made probably $0.50/hour to rent vacation condos to my mom. While I realize OITNB isn't spot on with its message or depiction of prison the glimpses it offers don't seem too terribly far-fetched.
2. Women! So many amazing women! Old women! Tall women! Transgender women! All the women! I'm amazed at the cast, with each episode, with each flashback to a new woman before she came to the prison I'm astounded at the breadth of talent they have assembled for this amazing show. It is truly ground-breaking for the cast alone. Even if the show was garbage getting all these women in a room is a feat unto itself.
3. Those back stories. Last season was amazing, don't get me wrong, but the back stories of this season are incredible. From Miss Rosa, to Morello's dark past (didn't see that one coming!), to Poussey I looked forward to going backwards more and more with each story. In the end knowing the circumstances and situations that brought these women to prison really makes the show.

♢♢

onwards and upwards

I took this picture at a concert I attended recently in Seattle. The concert was a spur of the moment decision, I looked to see if one of my favorite bands, Gojira, was touring and what do you know they were playing a show in Seattle 3 days later.

I live a fairly consistent and predictable life, and to say that deciding on a Friday to see a concert 100 miles away on a Monday without knowing anyone else going is a strange occurrence would be a rather large understatement.

I ended up going with two other people which was lovely, as I was driving each way and needed the company to keep me awake. But while at the concert I was more or less by myself.

I moshed. I screamed until my lungs burned — filling with the acrid sweat and smoke of others. I was, for the first time in a long time my most comfortable in my skin.

In middle school and high school I basically did whatever I wanted. I went to wild metal concerts. I took pictures of Canadian black metal bands (see below) and ran with a pretty group of little freaks just like me. But I got good grades, I was a yearbook editor, I had a job, I actually had 3 jobs for a while. Then I graduated, moved 400 miles away to attend college and things changed for the better and the worse.

I graduated college 2 years ago now (where did that time go, seriously?) and have stuck around the same town since.

I've found some great friends but not like the ones I've grown up with. Before I relied on friends to guide me to do crazy, bold things because they were all doing crazy bold things with their lives. They moved to far away lands, like me, and started their own crazy adventures.

Recently I decided to regain some control over my crazy destiny and have some adventures.

1. This summer I will be taking motorcycle safety courses so I can finally get a motorcycle of my own.
2. I'm turning in my application to become a Hospice volunteer. I've thought about this for over a year and now I'm making it so, I want to help others in one of the most difficult of times in life and hopefully ease their transition to bigger things. I want to help families and individuals with anything necessary to make passing easier whether that's cooking a meal, doing laundry or just sitting with someone. I hope, selfishly, to make some friends and hear some amazing stories but my #1 priority is to give with no expectation of receiving anything back.
3. This fall I will, hopefully, be attending Bastyr University to become a certified birth Doula. This is another of my dreams and I'm determinded to make it a reality this year.

I turn 24 a week from tomorrow and while I had no idea where I was going to be in my life at 24 I'm happy with the direction things are headed now. I'm glad I'm pushing myself to make crazy-huge life decisions and goals all by myself without anyone around to tell me what to do.

To close, here's a music video from my new obsession Iggy Azalea who is 4 days younger than me!

the punk singer – modern love

photo from here

While I don't pretend to have been a huge fan of Bikini Kill or Le Tigre from childhood I've recently become a bit obsessed with the enigma that is Kathleen Hanna.

When The Punk Singer: A Film About Kathleen Hanna appeared in the "films I will probably devour" suggested section on Netflix I did just that, I devoured it instantly.

While I wasn't obsessed with Kathleen Hanna or her music until recently I have been obsessed with Nirvana and Kurt Cobain since I was 9. I read Charles Cross', Heavier than Heaven: A Biography of Kurt Cobain, when it came out in 2011 — I was 11. In it Kathleen Hanna is mentioned as a friend of Kurt and her band at the time, Bikini Kill, is also mentioned. My lack of history with Bikini Kill has more to do with living in pre-internet in Spokane, Washington and being unable to drive than lack of interest.

But I digress, this film is something I've been longing to see for quite some time. Most of my interest in Hanna stems from her status as a modern feminist icon and her involvement in the Riot Grrrl movement. What I wasn't expecting, because I'm a rube, was a story about feminism and raging against the mainstream but also a story of love. Kathleen Hanna has been with Adam Horovitz, aka Ad-Rock, from the Beastie Boys since 1997 and they've been married since 2006. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS? I feel like such a moron.

What an amazing testament to the power of love and acceptance that the same person who wrote "Girls - to do the dishes / Girls - to clean up my room / Girls - to do the laundry" married the person who wrote "That girl thinks she's the queen of the neighborhood / She's got the hottest trike in town / That girl she holds her head up so high / I think I wanna be her best friend, yeah".

Hanna talks about this very juxtaposition in the film and how amazing it is to her still that they ended up together.

Somehow hard rock couples, or just musicians in general ending up together for the long haul always gave me hope that perhaps someday I'd find a nice freak like me and we'd settle down and be happy, not normal, never normal, but happy.

Now that Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon are no longer together, and Beyoncé and Jay-Z just seem like too too much it's to Kathleen Hanna and Adam Horovitz that I turn for a shining example of making it.

True Detective & feminism

photo from here

I recently read this article regarding the HBO show True Detective being a "turnoff" for female viewers. As a female viewer who just finished season one (holy cow, did not sleep for days) the premise of the article intrigued me, but actually ended up confounding me:

How can it be so intelligent on matters of slow-burning grief and small-town bigotry and yet so dumb – really dumb – on the subject of women?

Ummm yeah, easy — the show wasn't written to be kind to the feminist agenda (whatever that is). It was written to be a devastating, creepy look at small town violence and the detectives who work to bring the perpetrators to justice. And it does all those things really really well.

Things I like most about True Detective include how raw the two main characters, Marty and Rust, are portrayed by Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey. In particular McConaughey's character reminds me of Jimmy McNulty, aka Dominic West's character on the other HBO cop-masterpiece that wasn't particularly kind to women, The Wire. I also enjoy that while Marty's relationships with women are not functional or fun or feminist they are real things that happen to men with jobs like his. What's being portrayed isn't fun to watch both because it's misogynist (which it is), but also because it's heartbreaking.

Now, if you've read my blog or know me you know that I am a lunatic feminist who constantly talks about body image, powerful females in film & TV, Claire Underwood on House of Cards, and LGBTQ issues as discussed at the Oscars but in this case I think we've gone too far, fellow feminists.

But what the show is implicitly – if unintentionally – saying, is that true detectives are men.

True Detective is set in rural Louisiana in the mid-'90s. I don't know about you but I kind of doubt there were a ton of Louisiana State Police Criminal Investigations Division homicide detectives who were women during that time in that place. Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps my experience working in the same building as a small police force at a University in Washington State that has only had 2 female police officers in the last 6 years on a staff out of about 20 was an illusion.

♢♢

In the end I'd rather watch True Detective with all its misogyny than shows like Girls or Sex and the City that portrayal the lives of women in other weird lights.

Lena Dunham has done a great job pretending to know what it's like to be an unemployed middle-class white girl living in a two bedroom apartment in Brooklyn, oh wait, no she hasn't. I was an unemployed middle-class white girl in Bellingham for about a month after I graduated college and I could barely afford to put gas in my car. Working semi-part-time-kinda at a coffee shop would not afford you the apartment Hannah has here, let alone in Brooklyn. Dunham's writing reflects a major flaw I find with Girls: the situations seem too good or too bad to be true because they are, Dunham can't write about characters being poor because she herself (as well as the entire main cast) has never been poor.

In the case of True Detective Nic Pizzolatto, the creator of the show, wrote about what he knows, Louisiana, and writes from the perspective of how a man would deal with the situations presented for Marty & Rust. Had he written the scenes involving Maggie and Marty's crumbling relationship more focused on Maggie's plight would it have had the same impact on Marty's character? I think not.

Feminism is great, feminism is the reason some great strides have been made in the entertainment industry, but feminism is not something to be pushed into all media in order for audiences to feel comfortable. If we were comfortable with how the women in this show are treated would we feel the same way about the show in general, I don't think so. Would the dramatic conclusion to the series, that I am not about to spoil, have come about if Rust stayed home with his daughters, painting their nails and watching Sweet Valley High with them? No.

True Detective doesn't make me uncomfortable because I understand that these characters aren't supposed to be feminists but they are also just that — characters on a television series. And, in the case of most amazing television, most are not feminists because the shows was written/directed/and produced by a man. The biggest thing this article made me realize is whining about current shows portrayal of women does nothing — writing shows focused on strong female leads, directed by strong women, and produced by women will do something.

To end this rant on feminism and modern television I leave you with a few shows that are baulking traditional roles for female characters and doing some amazing things:

• House of Cards – Claire Underwood, Jackie Sharp, etc.
• The Fall
• Top of the Lake
• Nurse Jackie
• Sherlock
• Bob's Burgers (I had to)

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