My main obsession with this film was, and continues to be, Traci Lord's character Wanda Woodward. I mean, look at this:
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1.25.2014
cry-baby
I love this movie, love it. I first saw it in middle school and considering it came out the year I was born that's not too bad. Everyone in this movie is the best, sure it's weird and dark and strange but it's the best kind of those things. Johnny Depp is so brooding, Iggy Pop just got sober, Ricki Lake
My main obsession with this film was, and continues to be, Traci Lord's character Wanda Woodward. I mean, look at this:
From her baby-bangs to her rockin' style she is perfection.
When I grow my hair back out this is what I'd love for it to look like, it's too bad I'm garbage at curling my hair.
My main obsession with this film was, and continues to be, Traci Lord's character Wanda Woodward. I mean, look at this:
1.19.2014
ze kindle, thus far
Thus far my experience with my Kindle has been absolutely great. I've stuck to my plan to check out things primarily from the library and wait it out and read other things instead of impulse buying everything under the sun.
I've read a ton, it's too easy not to spend the five minutes between putting my kettle on and making tea reading. I take it everywhere, it has become like a third arm, and I'm sure I weird out waitresses and bartenders with my incessant disconnecting.
Part of what's been great about it is I don't hesitate to checkout books I would never, ever buy in a store. Memoir about spoiler gossip columnist turned foodie, suuuure (Apron Anxiety: My Messy Affairs In and Out of the Kitchen by Alyssa Shelasky), book about distance running, okay (did not actually end up reading that one), but also I've gotten a chance to plow through memoirs and novels I've been dying to read for free.
So far I've read:
Elsewhere: A Memoir by Richard Russo (very good, very troubling)
I Feel Bad About my Neck by Nora Ephron (love her, love her)
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn (a great escape into creep-fiction)
Swimming to Antarctica by Lynne Cox (distance swimming, YES)
Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by my idol Cheryl Strayed (amazing, I want to be her rebel niece or close confidant so so bad)
Now I've started:
Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So‑Called Hospitality by Jacob Tomsky
The Expats by Chris Pavone
and Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg
Soon to come: books about travel, books about Paris, books about midwifery, & books about film.
I've read a ton, it's too easy not to spend the five minutes between putting my kettle on and making tea reading. I take it everywhere, it has become like a third arm, and I'm sure I weird out waitresses and bartenders with my incessant disconnecting.
Part of what's been great about it is I don't hesitate to checkout books I would never, ever buy in a store. Memoir about spoiler gossip columnist turned foodie, suuuure (Apron Anxiety: My Messy Affairs In and Out of the Kitchen by Alyssa Shelasky), book about distance running, okay (did not actually end up reading that one), but also I've gotten a chance to plow through memoirs and novels I've been dying to read for free.
So far I've read:
Elsewhere: A Memoir by Richard Russo (very good, very troubling)
I Feel Bad About my Neck by Nora Ephron (love her, love her)
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn (a great escape into creep-fiction)
Swimming to Antarctica by Lynne Cox (distance swimming, YES)
Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by my idol Cheryl Strayed (amazing, I want to be her rebel niece or close confidant so so bad)
Now I've started:
Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So‑Called Hospitality by Jacob Tomsky
The Expats by Chris Pavone
and Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg
Soon to come: books about travel, books about Paris, books about midwifery, & books about film.
hair meltdown
Confession: I have totally melted my poor follicles and I only care a little bit.
In my quest to become a platinum blonde I threw caution to the wind and stripped my hair not only of its color, but also of its precious protein. I have learned a great deal through my journey, about myself, my hair, and self-control (and how I don't have even an ounce to speak of). I have managed to come close to my goal, becoming platinum blonde in places but also yellowish, and if left unwashed and untoned, a dreaded strawberry blonde.
I pride myself on knowing when to quit things (soccer, basketball, everything else) and this hair is one of them. When I wash it my hair feels like it's full of soap, even when it's not. It stretches inches beyond where it's actually grown like a rubber band and general creeps everyone out.
The only solution with such a disaster on my hands is to cut ties, literally and start anew. So, without further adieu (hah! anew, adieu, I'm so witty) some of the images I will show my ever patient and non-judgmental-to-my-face stylist on February the 6th:
The very similar but ever-so-slightly shorter
The ever-lovely Michelle Williams Pixie Carey Mulligan rendition
In my quest to become a platinum blonde I threw caution to the wind and stripped my hair not only of its color, but also of its precious protein. I have learned a great deal through my journey, about myself, my hair, and self-control (and how I don't have even an ounce to speak of). I have managed to come close to my goal, becoming platinum blonde in places but also yellowish, and if left unwashed and untoned, a dreaded strawberry blonde.
I pride myself on knowing when to quit things (soccer, basketball, everything else) and this hair is one of them. When I wash it my hair feels like it's full of soap, even when it's not. It stretches inches beyond where it's actually grown like a rubber band and general creeps everyone out.
The only solution with such a disaster on my hands is to cut ties, literally and start anew. So, without further adieu (hah! anew, adieu, I'm so witty) some of the images I will show my ever patient and non-judgmental-to-my-face stylist on February the 6th:
The very similar but ever-so-slightly shorter
The ever-lovely Michelle Williams Pixie Carey Mulligan rendition
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| from here |
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Once the initial cut is made I'm hoping to transition to the styles these lovely ladies grew out.
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Wish me luck!
♢♢
on wanderlust
Yesterday I started two savings accounts, at last, one for something huge – a house or car or elephant and one for travel.
Since graduating college I haven't traveled much. And by much I mean, at all. Most of this is due to a combination of living paycheck to meager paycheck and being a total shut-in unwilling to consider the possibility that there may be more exciting things out there for me.
But! That has all changed! My current plan is to travel, solo, to San Francisco this spring, perhaps for my historic 24th birthday. And then in the fall or next spring to Berlin. The more I learn about Berlin the more I think it's the place I need to be. Cold, full of hipster youths and beer, and people angry about the hipster youths inundating their neighborhoods and hiking up rents. Need I say more?
I'm young, 23, and have no one and nothing besides a ridiculously long lease tying me down to the city I live in. And I like it here. I like the long summers and three lakes ready to be swim/swam/swum in and the independent theater and tiny restaurants and bars. I do, however, feel like I see the same four people over and over and over again. When I buy overpriced local organic produce at the co-op to camouflage just wanting to eat their amazing tiramisu, when I walk to get my daily caffeine fix, when I shuffle into a crowded bar on the weekend before a matinee or to a shop to buy a $9 pizza and beer combo (I know, what?) I see the same people. I've lived here almost 6 years and I have ants in my pants. This is the town for university students, their overgrown man-child boyfriends and people working at dentist's offices, grocery stores, and organic salons to support said university students.
Time to think about my next move, both literally and figuratively. While I'm young you guys, while I'm young.
Since graduating college I haven't traveled much. And by much I mean, at all. Most of this is due to a combination of living paycheck to meager paycheck and being a total shut-in unwilling to consider the possibility that there may be more exciting things out there for me.
But! That has all changed! My current plan is to travel, solo, to San Francisco this spring, perhaps for my historic 24th birthday. And then in the fall or next spring to Berlin. The more I learn about Berlin the more I think it's the place I need to be. Cold, full of hipster youths and beer, and people angry about the hipster youths inundating their neighborhoods and hiking up rents. Need I say more?
I'm young, 23, and have no one and nothing besides a ridiculously long lease tying me down to the city I live in. And I like it here. I like the long summers and three lakes ready to be swim/swam/swum in and the independent theater and tiny restaurants and bars. I do, however, feel like I see the same four people over and over and over again. When I buy overpriced local organic produce at the co-op to camouflage just wanting to eat their amazing tiramisu, when I walk to get my daily caffeine fix, when I shuffle into a crowded bar on the weekend before a matinee or to a shop to buy a $9 pizza and beer combo (I know, what?) I see the same people. I've lived here almost 6 years and I have ants in my pants. This is the town for university students, their overgrown man-child boyfriends and people working at dentist's offices, grocery stores, and organic salons to support said university students.
Time to think about my next move, both literally and figuratively. While I'm young you guys, while I'm young.
1.14.2014
gender, sexuality, and the Golden Globes
As someone who sees a ton of movies it's fun for me to follow my favorite actors and actresses through awards season. I usually attend an Oscar or Golden Globes party and love voting and trying to predict the winners and losers. I also generally see all the films nominated in the big categories by the end of the year.
This year at the Golden Globes Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto received awards for a film I saw, Dallas Buyers Club. Neither of them mentioned the word AIDS in their speeches. Jared Leto laughed off his incredible role by mentioning having to wax off his eyebrows, but not having to go "full Brazilian". He ended his speech by saying "To the Rayons of the world, thanks for the inspiration." Yeah, you're welcome asshole.
I'm sure it's hard to get up onstage and make yourself vulnerable in front of all your peers, but one would think after months and months of living the life of someone at the forefront of the AIDS crisis you'd mention it at least once? After undergoing so many radical physical changes, including drastic weight loss by both men you'd think it would be more fresh on their minds.
But I digress, I'm writing to mention two women who transformed themselves in similar ways to Leto and did not forget to point out how difficult it is for the people actually living this as their everyday life when they won their awards.
In 1999 Hilary Swank portrayed Brandon Teena in Boys Don't Cry and when she won the Academy Award for Best Actress in a Leading Role she had this to say:
Both these actresses did not waiver and whine about the physical changes they had to make or how weird it was to play some "other" sexuality than their own. They highlighted the bravery it takes for men and women to live the lives of the characters they're portraying.
In Hollywood is it really that difficult or embarrassing to call attention to things like AIDS, being transsexual or transgender, as a straight white man? Can Jared Leto say "hey, living the life of someone who faced hatred and malice and fear everyday has really changed me as a person" without anyone getting worried about him, as a straight white man? Is this one benefit of being a woman in Hollywood, the flexibility to portray whomever you choose and not worry about the ramifications of your choices?
I'm hoping the Oscars do not follow this mortifying pattern.
This year at the Golden Globes Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto received awards for a film I saw, Dallas Buyers Club. Neither of them mentioned the word AIDS in their speeches. Jared Leto laughed off his incredible role by mentioning having to wax off his eyebrows, but not having to go "full Brazilian". He ended his speech by saying "To the Rayons of the world, thanks for the inspiration." Yeah, you're welcome asshole.
I'm sure it's hard to get up onstage and make yourself vulnerable in front of all your peers, but one would think after months and months of living the life of someone at the forefront of the AIDS crisis you'd mention it at least once? After undergoing so many radical physical changes, including drastic weight loss by both men you'd think it would be more fresh on their minds.
But I digress, I'm writing to mention two women who transformed themselves in similar ways to Leto and did not forget to point out how difficult it is for the people actually living this as their everyday life when they won their awards.
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| photo from here |
And last, but certainly not least, I want to thank Brandon Teena for being such an inspiration to us all. His legacy lives on through our movie to remind us to always be ourselves, to follow our hearts, to not conform. I pray for the day when we not only accept our differences, but we actually celebrate our diversity. Thank you very much.In 2005 Felicity Huffman portrayed a transsexual woman, Bree, reuniting with her son. In her Golden Globes acceptance speech she said:
I know as actors our job is usually to shed our skins, but I think as people our job is to become who we really are and so I would like to salute the men and women who brave ostracism, alienation and a life lived on the margins to become who they really are.
Both these actresses did not waiver and whine about the physical changes they had to make or how weird it was to play some "other" sexuality than their own. They highlighted the bravery it takes for men and women to live the lives of the characters they're portraying.
In Hollywood is it really that difficult or embarrassing to call attention to things like AIDS, being transsexual or transgender, as a straight white man? Can Jared Leto say "hey, living the life of someone who faced hatred and malice and fear everyday has really changed me as a person" without anyone getting worried about him, as a straight white man? Is this one benefit of being a woman in Hollywood, the flexibility to portray whomever you choose and not worry about the ramifications of your choices?
I'm hoping the Oscars do not follow this mortifying pattern.
♢
1.12.2014
enough with "guilty pleasures"
I don't know about you, but I'm a hermit.
In college I finally realized what I am at heart — an introvert, who, once warmed up to people through mutual interests, booze, or other means will never stop talking. That said, I can go whole days, weekends, weeks without speaking to anyone if left to my own devices. This weekend for instance, I worked from home Friday (a plague forced the whole office home to avoid cross-contamination of ear infections, flu viruses, and general icks), went to breakfast by myself Saturday, and grocery shopped Sunday.
I didn't have friends over, I didn't go out, I didn't talk on the phone with my mom. And you know what, it was great. I read obsessively on my new Kindle (more on that here) and laughed to myself, and generally had a wonderful time. It's not uncommon for my voice to crack Monday morning talking to my co-workers because my vocal cords have been in hibernation for some 50+ hours.
While I was doing so I thought about how I should have been doing this or that and not watching Bering Sea Gold but you know what I don't care. I really don't. I don't care that to me, the perfect weekend is doing "absolutely nothing": watching TV, reading, making some great food. That's better than seeing everyone I know and killing myself trying to keep up. To me, the guilt is in the judgement of others, not that I myself care.
On that note, here are some of the things I truly, truly love and don't care if they're guilty pleasures to others:
In college I finally realized what I am at heart — an introvert, who, once warmed up to people through mutual interests, booze, or other means will never stop talking. That said, I can go whole days, weekends, weeks without speaking to anyone if left to my own devices. This weekend for instance, I worked from home Friday (a plague forced the whole office home to avoid cross-contamination of ear infections, flu viruses, and general icks), went to breakfast by myself Saturday, and grocery shopped Sunday.
I didn't have friends over, I didn't go out, I didn't talk on the phone with my mom. And you know what, it was great. I read obsessively on my new Kindle (more on that here) and laughed to myself, and generally had a wonderful time. It's not uncommon for my voice to crack Monday morning talking to my co-workers because my vocal cords have been in hibernation for some 50+ hours.
While I was doing so I thought about how I should have been doing this or that and not watching Bering Sea Gold but you know what I don't care. I really don't. I don't care that to me, the perfect weekend is doing "absolutely nothing": watching TV, reading, making some great food. That's better than seeing everyone I know and killing myself trying to keep up. To me, the guilt is in the judgement of others, not that I myself care.
On that note, here are some of the things I truly, truly love and don't care if they're guilty pleasures to others:
- Garbage television – we're talking Ragin' Cajuns, Gilmore Girls, and New Girl and whatever, they're wonderful
- Pajamas – if only I had the pajama wardrobe of Jess from New Girl I'd be the happiest camper
- A good dirty martini at 3pm – of course this on the weekends but it's so decedant to drink mid-day while watching Swamp Loggers
- Popular fiction – This has only started since college when I retreated into Harry Potter during final week, it continues now with the top sellers being read in the bathtub without a care in the world
- Eating really nice, expensive cheese. This is one of the biggest things I've latched onto that's at times actually been an obscene pleasure as I couldn't actually afford to be eating the stuff
Guilty? I think not.
♢♢♢
why I sold out and bought a Kindle
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| oh hai it's meeeee |
I read a lot, or what I consider to be a lot, although I'm sure everyone else reads a lot more. In the last few years I've purchased dozens of books about all manner of subjects. Some I have read and loved (How to be a Woman, Spiritual Midwifery, Me Talk Pretty One Day, HARRY POTTER) and some not so much. I was given an Amazon gift card for Christmas and had been mulling over purchasing a Kindle for some time. I decided to take the plunge, ordered a Kindle Paperwhite and haven't looked back.
Thus far I've completed two books, which I'm about to review: I Feel Bad About my Neck and Gone Girl. I've started a ton of others and downloaded a ton of classical literature fo' free via Free for Kindle and Project Gutenberg. I've spent $7 on books (A People's History of the United States and A Cinema of Loneliness were on major sale) and bookmarked almost everything I want to read on the local library website, awaiting my turn to check them out for 21 days and read them with great fervor.
Will this replace my love of real, actual books? I don't think so.
♢♢♢
1.04.2014
Beyoncé
Okay, so I am admittedly super late to the Beyoncé bus. I didn't really listen to her as a kid (Destiny's Child released Survivor when I was 11) or in high school/college as an independent artist. I am however fascinated by her as a person and her relationship with Jay-Z has always been intriguing to me.
When she released her new album I thought it was an amazing feat that she could put it together without anyone squawking about it. I mean, I hear she's a queen, but still, there are like 17 videos with hundreds of people and no one was the wiser, that takes some serious pull.
Without listening to or seeing any of the album I saw this page of "The 41 Most Unbelievably Flawless And Life-Changing Moments From Beyoncé’s New Album" and purchased the album immediately. I mean, look at this:
To me this album isn't about feminism or not, a female artist changing the game of album release forever, or not, it's about fun songs and amazing styling in every single one of the videos. I immediately wanted all of her clothes, her hair, her make-up, and this swimsuit, my god:
When she released her new album I thought it was an amazing feat that she could put it together without anyone squawking about it. I mean, I hear she's a queen, but still, there are like 17 videos with hundreds of people and no one was the wiser, that takes some serious pull.
Without listening to or seeing any of the album I saw this page of "The 41 Most Unbelievably Flawless And Life-Changing Moments From Beyoncé’s New Album" and purchased the album immediately. I mean, look at this:
To me this album isn't about feminism or not, a female artist changing the game of album release forever, or not, it's about fun songs and amazing styling in every single one of the videos. I immediately wanted all of her clothes, her hair, her make-up, and this swimsuit, my god:
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| photo from here |
I can't remember a more motivating experience for my personal style than watching her flawlessly change outfits about 395846 times and each time it being a fresh and different approach than the previous video.
I do think Beyoncé is doing incredible things for women in music and women period but for me it's all about the clothes. I'm shallow, shoot me.
♢
23 things to do while you're young, period
When I first saw this post about "23 Things to do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You're 23" I thought ohhh how fun, advice for the rest of us. The premise of the post is interesting, I too feel like a lot of my peers got married very young and while I don't understand their choices I suppose I support them. Or something.
What perturbs me about the post, which has becoming wildly popular, gaining praise from other sad millenials who watch as their Facebook feed post-high school swarms with photos of fatty engagement rings, babies, and weddings is the idea that everyone getting married young is a stupid idiot. The following passage really surprised me, some of my peers are happily married at 23 and to them it wasn't about their age it was about, hey, this is the one, why do I need to wait around?
I have many friends and peers who married quite young, some to great success and some not. But what sets them apart in my mind from the sad-sacks this author is talking about is they made a choice as an adult and whether or not it works out they decided to do something courageous and almost counter-culture at this point and get married. They knew everyone would be wondering what the rush was when they invited them to their weddings and they didn't care because it was their choice, not their parents, peers, or friends.
I myself have been incredibly cynical about young marriage for a long time. Several friends from high school got married either in high school or right after graduation. Some of these couples are still together but most aren't and while I think they might have pushed it a little bit by marrying directly out of high school that was their choice not mine.
If I choose to get married in the future it will be later than most of my peers, my parents, my grandparents who all got married young, my friends, and basically everyone else ever. But I don't really care.
What perturbs me about the post, which has becoming wildly popular, gaining praise from other sad millenials who watch as their Facebook feed post-high school swarms with photos of fatty engagement rings, babies, and weddings is the idea that everyone getting married young is a stupid idiot. The following passage really surprised me, some of my peers are happily married at 23 and to them it wasn't about their age it was about, hey, this is the one, why do I need to wait around?
It is a way for young people to hide behind a significant other instead of dealing with life’s highs and lows on their own. It’s a safety blanket. It’s an admission that the world is just too big and scary to deal with it on your own; thus, you now have someone that is legally obligated to support you till one of you dies or files for divorce.
Herrrrmmmmmm hide behind a significant other? I don't know many young married people who hide behind their significant others. Honestly, can a young couple afford to have someone hiding from the world? The author continues:
If your love is truly eternal, what’s the rush? If it’s real, that person will continue to be committed to you 2 months from now, 2 years from now, and 2 decades from now. Grow, learn, travel, party, cuddle, read, explore. Do. Freaking. Something… other than “settle down” at 23 with a white picket fence.
Because you owe it to yourself. You are a human being that deserves to thrive inside AND outside of a relationship.Who says you can't thrive on your own within a relationship the same as you would outside of one? When you are in a relationship are you obligated to remain the same person, to resist change and growth and new developments in your life? To me that's a sign of an immature relationship and person at any age, not just the young.
I have many friends and peers who married quite young, some to great success and some not. But what sets them apart in my mind from the sad-sacks this author is talking about is they made a choice as an adult and whether or not it works out they decided to do something courageous and almost counter-culture at this point and get married. They knew everyone would be wondering what the rush was when they invited them to their weddings and they didn't care because it was their choice, not their parents, peers, or friends.
I myself have been incredibly cynical about young marriage for a long time. Several friends from high school got married either in high school or right after graduation. Some of these couples are still together but most aren't and while I think they might have pushed it a little bit by marrying directly out of high school that was their choice not mine.
If I choose to get married in the future it will be later than most of my peers, my parents, my grandparents who all got married young, my friends, and basically everyone else ever. But I don't really care.
For me, the author's list of things to do instead of getting engaged at 23 was incredibly vapid and weird. After all that marriage-shaming she wants young people to sit down and 13. Accomplish a Pinterest project? What?
So, after slightly more thought than her here is my list of things to do when you're young. I don't really care if people get married young, they can accomplish Pinterest projects together, but what I think the bigger message of her piece was trying to be through all the judgement and projection was being young is a time to explore! Have adventures! Do some crazy stuff!
1. Go on a vacation sans parents to somewhere awesome
2. Learn to cook, actually cook not just making mac n' cheese
3. Work a really crappy job, or rather, a really under-appreciated job so you never take a great position for granted
4. Borrow some kids for a weekend – see what being a parent is actually like
5. Get renters insurance, find a dentist, a doctor, and start paying for your car and insurance on your own. SO HARD YOU GUYS!
6. Invest in nice things! You're an adult now, buy yourself a nice couch if you want a nice couch
7. Read books and see movies that challenge your moral and political views
8. Pay your bills! And pay them on time!
9. Attend an awesome music festival with all your friends
10. Explore the city you live in – find new parks, trails, bars, and bookstores
11. Make a lifetime friend or friends and rely on them for wisdom
12. Go on dates! Perhaps lots of dates! It can be a weird experience but might lead to great things
13. Do things by yourself. Even if you're in a relationship learn to love going out to eat, getting coffee, or go to a movie alone.
14. Learn basic household skills: replace buttons, sew pillowcases and Halloween costumes, clean your shower, set up your cable modem
15. Save money! I can't stress this enough, mostly because I haven't done it myself, but saving money whenever you can is awesome and will help with things like couches, trips, and eventually buying a house.
16. Decide on things you like and don't like and don't make compromises. Do you hate people who chew with their mouth open? That's fine, run with that.
17. Find a great hairstyle for your face shape and then a great hairstylist that can make you feel like $150
18. Get involved in things you're interested in. Once you have a full-time adult-type job it's hard to make time for volunteering because you're old and tired when you get off work. Getting in those habits early is a great way to have a more balanced existence.
19. Get a credit card and begin establishing your credit. If you can't qualify for one through your huge bank try getting a secure card (they put whatever your credit limit is in a separate account and freeze it so you can't default on anything) through a local credit union.
20. Get a pen pal and get to know someone slowly through snail mail
21. Find a great cause and support it as much as you can
22. Be aware, of yourself, your community and your world. Read the news, journal your thoughts and reflect back on them, don't stop trying to improve yourself and your knowledge.
23. Embrace change, do what you want to do in life, and don't let anyone stop you or tell you to do 23 things before you're 23
♢
1.03.2014
death in small towns
Throughout my life I've been pretty weird. I mean, look at this picture of me in high school:
I was in second grade when a woman, Debra Eik, shot her two sons, Brandon (6) and Brian (11) and then herself (Seattle Times article here). I knew Brandon from the playground, Brian survived but I didn't hear much else about it.
When the story broke a dieting drug called fenfluramine/phentermine or fen-phen was blamed. It was pulled at the FDA's request two months after the murder/suicide in November of 1997. Ed Eik, Debra's husband, sued the company who made fen-phen and the doctor who prescribed it to her in 2000. A case was pending for the same doctor in 2001 by the Washington State Court of Appeals for over-prescribing hundreds of diet pills to his patients.
Ed Eik still lives in Spokane and owns a motorcycle shop I've been to with my father.
December of my junior year of high school a boy from the senior class was detained on school property on suspicion of murdering his parents. He was also an outcast and while I didn't want much to do with him he would say hello in the halls every now and then and we got into arguments over nerdy things in our shared history class.
It was revealed he had stabbed his father and strangled his mother. He came to school the next day as if nothing had happened and when co-workers noticed his parents didn't show up to work (his mother was a much-loved math teacher at another school) someone checked on them, saw blood coming out of the house and called the police. When questioned he said they had gotten into an argument the night before, they went on a walk and he hadn't seen them since.
When the police arrested him he uttered "Go on with what you're gonna do. Book me. I'm gonna cry myself to sleep later. Let's get this going."
At the time I was the photo-editor of the yearbook and got to voice an opinion on whether or not his senior photo should remain in our book. We decided yes, we should leave it in, if only for referencing in the future as someone we knew and went to school with.
He was convicted of two counts of 1st degree murder — he linked the zip-ties he used to strangle his mother with together which showed premeditation. He was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole four months shy of my graduation date.
With weirdness comes being an outcast when you live in a small town. I grew up in Spokane Washington — a strange town, usually the second largest city in Washington or very close to it, and the place where three very separate deaths greatly impacted my life.
♢
I was in second grade when a woman, Debra Eik, shot her two sons, Brandon (6) and Brian (11) and then herself (Seattle Times article here). I knew Brandon from the playground, Brian survived but I didn't hear much else about it.
When the story broke a dieting drug called fenfluramine/phentermine or fen-phen was blamed. It was pulled at the FDA's request two months after the murder/suicide in November of 1997. Ed Eik, Debra's husband, sued the company who made fen-phen and the doctor who prescribed it to her in 2000. A case was pending for the same doctor in 2001 by the Washington State Court of Appeals for over-prescribing hundreds of diet pills to his patients.
Ed Eik still lives in Spokane and owns a motorcycle shop I've been to with my father.
♢
It was revealed he had stabbed his father and strangled his mother. He came to school the next day as if nothing had happened and when co-workers noticed his parents didn't show up to work (his mother was a much-loved math teacher at another school) someone checked on them, saw blood coming out of the house and called the police. When questioned he said they had gotten into an argument the night before, they went on a walk and he hadn't seen them since.
When the police arrested him he uttered "Go on with what you're gonna do. Book me. I'm gonna cry myself to sleep later. Let's get this going."
At the time I was the photo-editor of the yearbook and got to voice an opinion on whether or not his senior photo should remain in our book. We decided yes, we should leave it in, if only for referencing in the future as someone we knew and went to school with.
He was convicted of two counts of 1st degree murder — he linked the zip-ties he used to strangle his mother with together which showed premeditation. He was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole four months shy of my graduation date.
♢
These deaths have effected me in various ways.
The first deaths perhaps taught me, at 7, that someday I would die and that day might not come as well-planned as I would hope. It also taught me that even those trusted to protect and nurture children can turn to violence.
Being from a small town, and being weird, I was mortified when news coverage of the boy who murdered his parents focused on teenage ramblings from his Myspace page and photos of him wearing a black trench coat. For the first time someone I knew had their social media profile used against them in public, vilifying them forever. Even at 15 the local media's comparison of him wearing a black trench coat to Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold who killed over a dozen people seemed repugnant. To this day the lack of compassion for this young man who is bipolar, suffers from depression, and was being faced with eviction by his parents worries me. If he felt his best and only option was killing his parents to avoid his problems we as a society have completely failed at treating and assisting families facing mental illnesses.
The first deaths perhaps taught me, at 7, that someday I would die and that day might not come as well-planned as I would hope. It also taught me that even those trusted to protect and nurture children can turn to violence.
Being from a small town, and being weird, I was mortified when news coverage of the boy who murdered his parents focused on teenage ramblings from his Myspace page and photos of him wearing a black trench coat. For the first time someone I knew had their social media profile used against them in public, vilifying them forever. Even at 15 the local media's comparison of him wearing a black trench coat to Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold who killed over a dozen people seemed repugnant. To this day the lack of compassion for this young man who is bipolar, suffers from depression, and was being faced with eviction by his parents worries me. If he felt his best and only option was killing his parents to avoid his problems we as a society have completely failed at treating and assisting families facing mental illnesses.
I was prompted to write this post for a rather strange reason. I read the article "Tyler Hadley's Killer Party" by Nathaniel Rich on the Rolling Stone website which details the grisly murders of Mary Jo and Blake Hadley by their 17-year-old son, Tyler. The brutal murders reminded me of the boy from high school and reading the comments his classmates made reminded me of 7 years ago when everyone tried to figure out whether they were disgusted, scared, worried, mad, or excited by what happened.
"I was like damn, brother," says Mike. "That's creepy as hell. I can't believe we partied last night where there was dead people." After Mike gave an interview to a local news reporter, he got 30 Facebook friend requests. "They were like, "I seen you on the news, bro!' I was like, 'Yeah, it was awesome!'""I wasn't upset when I heard," says the 16-year-old cheerleader. "I wasn't scared, or disgusted. It's not like I knew him personally. I was just in awe."When Anthony Snook found out about the Hadley murders, he thought, "Wow. I just went to the party of a lifetime. It's messed up what he did, but 20 years from now, I'll be able to say I was there. I hate Port St. Lucie, but that's kind of cool."
And while I definitely wouldn't describe it as "kind of cool" that brutal death has followed me through my life I do find it somewhat fascinating and it has changed the way I view a great many things.
♢
1.01.2014
first movie of 2014
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| photo from Slate |
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