I don't think it has much to do with the number as it is the stage of life I seem to be entering — my friends are getting married, not just people I vaguely remember from high school, my vague classmates are getting divorced, everyone, everyone is having kids, houses are being bought, gardens are being planted.
While none of that stuff is happening for me right now, some good things, some bad things, and some so so things are happening. And after 25 years this is what I know so far:
1. It's fine to each cheesecake for dinner — no one cares — not even your mother (my mother probably does).
2. It's okay to get upset if you're not doing quite what you thought you would/should be doing at this point. This is something I have to remind myself almost daily — in all aspects of my life there's a whole lot of "should" going on, at least in my head, and it's an uphill battle to shoo those thoughts away. Are you fairly: happy, healthy, loved, adjusted, employed, and learning? You're probably doing just fine.
3. It's a little okay to hate your hair/body/clothes every now and then. At 25 there are days I really wish I'd followed through on my summer plan for every summer ages 10 - 16 to get in super great shape for the fall but then I remember all the lazy days watching ER reruns and I know why I didn't.
4. You can buy that motorcycle/bouncy castle/whatever. It's fine. Saving money can be surprisingly easy once you budget out your monthly goals and discover that you're spending about 3x as much on takeout as you thought.
6. Going to the movies with a friend can turn out to be the highlight of your week and develop into one of the most rewarding, fulfilling relationships you've ever had. Love you, Wendy!
7. Finding your passions is really hard — or rather — picking which ones to pursue and which ones to gripe about not having time for to other people via social media is hard. I would love to be a Doula right now, am I one, absolutely not. Should I be one for my wellbeing as well as my community's wellbeing, probably!
8. It's fine to be a "crazy" "feminist" who points out when their boss is being sexist, argues with people about Hobby Lobby, and debates the benefits of Sweden's paternity leave policies. If not you, who?
9. Always keep learning. This is a big thing I learned from my 100 year old grandpa who took up doing Sudoku puzzles at about 95 — there's no time like the present to learn new things and expand your mind. If you never slow down neither will your brain.
10. It's okay to be unsure. It's okay to make a huge decision just to second guess it a minute later or a month later. Being an adult is super hard and being one that makes the best choices is impossible — cut yourself some slack already.
10. Sometimes you meet Cheryl Strayed, and her incredible husband Brian Lindstrom, and you just absolutely lose it.
12. Making good food from scratch can be almost more fulfilling in process than in consumption. I've gained so much from struggling to learn things like: how to make a nice biscuit (buttermilk! cold butter!), how to roll pasta thin enough (#8 setting!), and how to avoid burning down my apartment.
13. Going to work can be really really awful. Mostly because you're tired, but sometimes because having a job isn't what you want and/or work is not the place to be.
14. Working really really hard will *hopefully* eventually pay off. I can't really tell you why I've kept my job as long as I have. I am now the longest standing full-time employee at my company other than the founders and I've only been there 3/17 years they've been in business. Anyway, it hasn't always been easy, it hasn't been fun, but in the end I've stuck it out and I am being rewarded for my hard work and my ability to stick with things (mostly because I'm really stubborn).
15. It's good to have friends to hang out with, it's even better to learn to enjoy being alone.
16. Sometimes you coerce a co-worker into going on an experimental photo shoot with you after work and that person really likes you but won't tell you for another year and then that same person ends up being your person. It's fun to have photos of that day now to show that Adam has kind of a smirk about him, like he has a plan, and I look out of my mind (typical).
17. Buy that $25 Nars lipstick, treat yo' self.
18. Keep reading. I can't believe how much time I wasted once I graduated high school not reading great books. I continue to mostly read garbage but nothing feels worse than not remembering the last book you read.
19. Binge watching tv is a-okay, that's what Saturdays are made for. Part of being an adult, I've found, is finding cheap, non-alcoholic ways to decompress. For me listening to heavy metal music while driving, walking around South Hill, or binge watching The West Wing until my eyes bleed are great ways to wash away the horrors of a bad day.
21. Whatever you'd rather be doing when you're spacing out at work or bored on a car trip or reading about the housing market — that's probably what you should be doing. For me that's being a midwife, but that turns out to be easier said than done.
22. It's okay to not always get what you want. From getting a hot dog when you really only wanted a polish sausage at Costco to not moving across the state because of your boyfriend, it's usually for the best. Unless it contradicts #25 too much...
23. Trying to keep up on everything and developing a case of FOMO, or whatever it's called, is stupid. Follow what you want to follow, pay attention to the ideas, news, people you want to and don't worry about the rest. While ignorance is certainly not bliss keeping up with all of your 800 Facebook friends isn't really worth the bother.
24. Enjoy your life now, today, because it's ever-fleeting.
25. At the end of the day, you've gotta do you.
Happy Birthday to me!
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